When I was a child in the later half of the eighties I got a really bad fever. When I got over it I decided my favorite color was green and greenish-blue. (When I was I was younger everything was solid red or solid blue.) I also found myself wanting to understand the female side of life as well as the male. It was as if a little bit of another personality found it's way into me.
Don't get me wrong. I still felt mostly like a like a guy.. It just felt like I had a second personality as a passenger contributing to my view on things. (This passenger is also attracted to females.) (That shirt to the right was salmon colored. One of my favorite foods) But after years of trying to understanding both sides I no longer feel like I associate with either side. I feel a little like HAL. Being more 'macho' doesn't mean you're going to win the fight. And being more 'caring' doesn't mean you're going to do what is right.
(THAT MEANS I HAVE NO SENSE OF GAY VULNERABILITY IF YOU START TAUNTING AND KEEP PUSHING ME IN A HOSTILE (UNFRIENDLY WAY) ABOUT HAVING A SENSITIVE SIDE (NOTHING HAS BEEN ABLE TO BREAK MY BONES) I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH TEARING YOU APART) (I got about two hours of sleep last night. I was lost in my own thoughts while I was at the store. Some 'street' looking person started following me around.)
What it comes down to is that each person has an emotional 'singularity' within themselves. A 'black hole' of repressed deep emotions to be avoided. So people see their identity 'laying' just outside the 'event horizon' (surrounding boundary area). People like things that give themselves a sense of identity without pulling them into the emotional vulnerability they are trying to avoid.
